Love, romance, conversations, sex are four powerful aspects in most relationships. These aspects define our lives, especially for those in a relationship. One honest truth about relationships is that they mimic an ignited fire camp on a snowy night. Spark and zealous burning of the wood initially are often down to the addition of fuel. But you don’t keep adding fuel to sustain the campfire. Rather, you regularly add wood.
The same principle applies to relationships. The early spark that occurs due to attraction or other reasons cools off after a while. To continue or sustain that spark and keep the relationship alive, you must keep adding “firewood,” so to speak. This article offers some takeaways and will hopefully help you keep your relationship alive and burning.
1. Communicate Your Feelings/Needs
Pre-relationship phase, you might be a solo person in terms of thoughts, decisions, and lifestyle choices. Sorry, Tom Cruise!!! A relationship is another ball game entirely. In order to ensure a long-lasting and interesting relationship, communication is vital. Your mate can’t read your mind, so kindly express your thoughts. Tell each other how much you love and value him/her. Remember, don’t just say it; mean it also.
Communication is quite elaborate, even to the extent of showing and acknowledging your partner’s effort, even on the simplest of things. “Well done” is such a comforting word, coupled with a glass of water. Funny how you both might be doing chores together, but that shouldn’t limit you. Take the initiative and pour a drink for you and your partner.
Finally, on communication, grow to understand your partner and avoid the incentive to solve every problem with gifts, for example. Create time to listen. Listen, let your partner do the talking. Also, learn to say, “I am sorry,” which goes a long way in cubbing unnecessary arguments or fights. When matters arise, never blame or shame your partner in public. Doing this is like pouring ice on the campfire.
2. Experience something new together
Many times, going through something new as a couple can strengthen your relationship, keep the spark alive and encourage you to develop as a couple. So, then, why not do something that is not only going to be a new experience but also one that is directly related to sexuality, intimacy and pleasure? For centuries yogis have worked with energy centres and how these can create exciting new sensations, such as energy orgams. Even if being coached about it may seem a bit too much for some, especially if you’re a more reserved type, it can work miracles on the couple, so don’t discard the option.
3. Far Away but Near
Steffo Shambo, founder of the Tantric Academy of Sacred Sexuality, has a philosophy that clearly shows a good aspect of what could result in the loss of spark in a relationship. The philosophy highlights that “not having enough individual separations or, so to speak, personal space results in depolarization.” In simple terms, in every relationship, the magnetism or bond shared in a relationship could start to reduce when partners stay together for so long.
So, learn to respect and give your partner privacy or space, but know when the silence is too much. So, stay far away but be near when needed.
4. Go on Trips
Occasionally take trips and go out camping with friends. If possible, do not include your partner, but be careful to inform and always update him or her. To build up trust, you could go on the trip with your married friends.
When you return, a term known as sexual polarity occurs. You and your partners’ emotions and feelings heighten, leading to a whole lot of excitement. This can help you keep the spark alive in your relationship. Remember, trust goes a long way. So, space your trips, and both partners should have these trips. Avoid being paranoid when your partner is on his/her trip. Find a way to immerse yourself in your passions and explore your own interests and hobbies and avoid paranoia.
A relationship is like a jigsaw puzzle. It takes time to figure out. Avoid rushing or trying all things simultaneously. As you take a step, sometimes you stumble, but that’s isn’t bad at all. You stumble to understand each other more.